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Thanksgiving Forecast

In order to make sure you’re prepared for Thanksgiving, I wanted to share with you this forecast* for the holiday weekend:

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190ËšF. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34ËšF in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

*Author unknown – courtesy of the Internet

8 Responses to Thanksgiving Forecast

  1. BOSSY says:

    snort cough gag giggle guffaw!

  2. TED says:

    OMG. How can you pass on such terrible misinformation without comment? There is no way in the world you should cook your turkey to anything close to 190 degrees. No wonder so many people have such dry birds on their Thanksgiving tables. Put the thermometer in the thickest part of the breast and take that thing out of the oven when it gets to 161. Carryover heat will bring it up another few degrees. If the turkey has one of those pop-up thermometers in it and the thermometer pops up, you’ve cooked it too long.

    TED’s last blog post..Head

  3. David says:

    I wish I liked eating more.

  4. urspo says:

    that was amusing; thank you for my one chuckle today.

    urspo’s last blog post..It starts?

  5. dave491 says:

    Funny stuff. “During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34ËšF in the refrigerator.” :-)

    Thanks for the find. It gave me a chuckle before I delve into a high-stress day.

    dave491’s last blog post..Central City Recording: The new player in town

  6. Utenzi says:

    That’s a forecast I can really sink my teeth into. Thanks! Happy Thanksgiving, Scott.

  7. daniel says:

    very cute… and glad we aren’t having it at my house. humid kitchen? blech ;)

  8. That is the work of a genius…

    Leaf, probably…’s last blog post..2am.


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